John volunteers to work nights in order to afford to send his daughter to an exclusive kindergarten, but the change throws his home life into turmoil.

John mouths off at Sgt. Kazmerek in front of two recruits, losing vacation time that Kate was looking forward to. But he can get it back if he helps Kazmerek get a commendation.

John decides to take up an offer of optional life insurance that promises a large payoff, and then finds out he must have a colonoscopy -- which first requires an enema.

John's co-workers make fun of Dakota in his Arabian princess costume on Halloween.

DiResta is in line for a Medal of Honor when he foils a robbery on the subway by whacking the perp with a sub sandwich. However, the man he saved is a two-timing city councilman.

John and Kate start bickering ""like an old married couple,"" so they decide to send the kids away to their aunt's and take a romantic afternoon – except there isn't much romance...

John convinces Cal to sell Kate's home-made chili at the diner, which turns into a full-time job for Kate and additional domestic duties for John.

Sgt. Kazmerek is even crankier than usual and ends up having Thanksgiving dinner at the DiResta household, where John realizes they actually have a few things in common.

DiResta is put in charge of supervising a young graffiti artist while he scrubs his work from the subway, but the kid's father doesn't show up to get him and John ends up baby-sitting.

John works as a security guard at a heavy-metal concert featuring an artist from his youth -- but his chance to see his onetime idol doesn't pan out the way he hoped.

The DiRestas offer to host Tully and Amanda's wedding, but the bride's family is rather snooty; meanwhile, John finds a dead transit cop---under his kitchen sink.

A cat fight ensues when John's old girlfriend Wendy shows up unexpectedly.

John and Kazmerek plot their own operation to catch a drug dealer; Vic gets arrested for selling Viagra.

John and Kate get a glimpse of the high life after John's quick actions save the president of a major retail establishment.

John and his father compete in a battle of the bulge to see who can slim down faster; Kate tries not to get strong-armed into running the church potluck.