Knob Haven High School is in financial trouble, and Acting Principal Sue Sezno must win the upcoming football game to gain alumni donations or face firing a faculty member. Meanwhile, a scandal erupts when pills confiscated from a student’s locker becomes a part of Vice Principal Stuart Proszakian’s daily diet.

To celebrate the first day of spring, Miracle distributes flowers (at least she thinks so) to the staff. The flowers turn out to be hemlock, and Andrew winds up in a coma. Larry’s pragmatism causes Miracle to lose her hippy-dippy spirituality. As a result, Miracle becomes despondent, and it’s up to Larry to help her regain her faith. Meanwhile, Helen’s grudge against Sue puts the school’s spring fundraiser in jeopardy.

When Knob Haven High School has a chance to become a “distinguished school,” Larry volunteers to give a speech to the school board in hopes of impressing Miracle. All looks good for Larry until a video of Ennis surfaces online and Principal Sezno replaces him. Meanwhile, Willard volunteers to teach Driver’s Ed in hopes of overcoming his fear of driving.

In an effort to impress the PTA, the faculty and staff of Knob Haven High School throw a party at Huey Lewis’ house. In true John Hughes fashion, the teachers decide to shake it up: Larry tries to get Miracle’s attention with his “interesting” date, Helen attempts to reinvent herself, Andrew finds his true identity and Willard goes on a booze run in a DeLorean that takes him across town and the time-space continuum in this homage to the ‘80s.

Vice Principal Prozackian is put in charge of the student newspaper, and runs a report that reveals that Miracle never graduated from high school. Meanwhile, Ennis gets stuck in the windshield of Principal Sezno's car and believes he's a half-man, half-machine superhero named "Sedanimal".

When a hurricane heads for Knob Haven, the high school becomes the town's shelter for those who've lost their homes.

When Larry hears from the Deep South Council of Physical Fitness, he attempts to remove all the junk food from the school to help the kids get fit. Willard convinces Larry to give him all the junk food, and as a result, suffers an unfortunate heart attack. When he awakens, he shares his amazing journey and causes an unexpected frenzy.

When Larry plans Knob Haven High School's reunion, he persuades Alanis Morissette to attend so that Helen and Sue's all-girl band, the "Knob Girlzz," can reunite for a special performance. Meanwhile, Andrew plots revenge against Jose Canseco, Larry seeks his long lost mermaid love and Ennis tries to stop Happy from planning what he thinks is a terrorist attack.

When Ennis proctors a test for gifted students, he accidentally sends the kids off in a trailer into the harbor. Meanwhile, Willard tries to protect Stuart from getting conned.

When Sue gives Andrew an ultimatum to turn around the drama department, he writes a musical starring the teachers. Meanwhile, Sue discovers that Ennis is smartest when he is intoxicated.