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The film takes place within a post-apocalyptic world, beginning with narration from Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), a college student from Austin, Texas, who is on his way to Columbus, Ohio to see if his parents are alive. He begins by explaining that his survival so far has been due to not having any friends to be attached to and not being close with his family, as well as a list of "rules" for surviving the zombie apocalypse (triggered by a virulent form of human adapted mad cow disease), which become a recurring motif in the film. After surviving a few zombie attacks, he encounters Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), whose life goal is to find the remaining Twinkies on Earth. To avoid attachment, Tallahassee insists that no real names be used and instead go by their home towns: Columbus and Tallahassee.As Columbus and Tallahassee search a grocery store for Twinkies, they meet two sisters, the adult Wichita (Emma Stone) and the girl Little Rock (Abigail Breslin). Through a con, the sisters manage to steal their weapons and truck, but the men soon find a Hummer H2 truck loaded with weapons and pursue them. The sisters manage to con the men yet again and take the H2 after their stolen car breaks down, this time taking the men as prisoners. After a tense standoff, Columbus convinces the group that it’s better to stick together.During the drive, Wichita informs Columbus that Columbus, Ohio has been destroyed and completely overrun by zombies. Columbus is upset and is given a chance to find his own way, but falling for Wichita, he decides to stay. They decide to drive towards Pacific Playland, an amusement park that is supposedly zombie-free and where the girls were originally headed. On the way, they pass through Hollywood and decide to sleep at the mansion of Bill Murray. Tallahassee and Wichita meet a seemingly zombified Murray, who reveals that he only disguises himself with make-up so that he can walk safely among the zombies and play golf. Murray decides to scare Columbus and Little Rock, who are both together watching Ghostbusters, as a practical joke, but Columbus, unaware of the joke, shoots and kills Murray.After a makeshift funeral, Tallahassee reveals he lost his son to the zombies (Earlier, Tallahassee told Columbus that he lost his puppy). Wichita starts developing feelings for Columbus. Fearing this attachment, Wichita leaves with Little Rock for Pacific Playland, convincing themselves that they should go back to trusting only themselves. However, Columbus decides to go after Wichita, and he and Tallahassee pursue the sisters in one of Murray’s vehicles.Wichita and Little Rock arrive at Pacific Playland and turn on all the rides and lights, unintentionally attracting nearby zombies. A battle ensues, leaving the sisters trapped on a drop tower ride and running low on ammunition. Tallahassee and Columbus arrive just as the sisters run out of ammo and try to lure the zombies away from the them. Tallahassee manages to lure the majority away, then intentionally locks himself in a game booth while Columbus goes after the sisters. Just as he runs out of ammo, Columbus comes across a zombie clown. With the sisters at stake, he overcomes his fear of clowns and destroys it with a giant mallet. Columbus then saves the girls, and in thanks, Wichita reveals her real name to him and the two share their first kiss. Tallahassee, using the enclosed space of the game booth to bottleneck the zombies, takes out the remaining zombies single-handedly.In the aftermath, Columbus and Tallahassee scavenge a fast food booth for Twinkies. Hearing a noise behind a door, Columbus instinctively shoots it. They are relieved to find the source of the noise was just a rat; however, Columbus’s shot destroyed the only box of Twinkies. Little Rock finds a Twinkie and gives it to Tallahassee, and Columbus comes to the realization that this is the only family he needs, and the four leave Pacific Playland together.