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Chuck Levine (Adam Sandler) and Larry Valentine (Kevin James) are veteran FDNY firefighters. Chuck is a sexual deviant while Larry is a single father trying to raise a "tomboy" daughter Tori and an effeminate son Eric (Cole Morgen). Because of Larry’s sadness and obsession over his wife’s death, he ends up not changing the primary beneficiary of his pension from his wife to his children within the deadline. His only option is to marry someone but Larry admits that there is no woman he knows that he would trust with his children’s future.

Larry finds an article about same-sex domestic partnership rights and decides to "marry" Chuck, making him the beneficiary and caretaker of Larry’s children. Chuck is reluctant but gives in since Larry saved his life.

After registering their domestic partnership, a beneficiary office lawyer comes to talk to Chuck and Larry. Chuck and Larry put on an act and the lawyer quickly leaves, hinting that a surprise inspection may come in the future by a much more thorough person.

Chuck and Larry meet with their lawyer Alex McDonough (Jessica Biel). Alex tells the two a specialist is indeed being sent in to see if Chuck and Larry are frauds. She suggests they truly get married. Following her advice they elope and marry in Canada, since same-sex marriage in New York is not possible. Chuck then moves in with Larry.

After Chuck’s first morning with Larry, Larry goes outside and finds Clinton Fitzer (Steve Buscemi), the specialist sent in to see if they’re faking. He remarks that their trash is not very gay and leaves, revealing his suspicions about the legitimacy of their partnership.

While shopping for more “gay stuff”, Chuck runs into Alex and she invites Chuck and Larry to a gay costume party. The two men are extremely uncomfortable in the gay scene. After the party ends, the party-goers are confronted by an anti-gay rights group (ostensibly based on Rev. Fred Phelps’ Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas.) The activists get into verbal arguments with the gays, culminating in activist leader Jim (Rob Corddry) calling them faggots. Chuck then punches him in the face, to much applause. The altercation makes its way to the newspaper tabloids the next day.

The next morning, Chuck and Larry are called to speak with FDNY Captain Phineas J. Tucker (Dan Aykroyd) who warns them that if they get caught, they are not to bring the firehouse down. Chuck and Larry find themselves not accepted well by other firemen. Chuck tries to join a game of basketball, but all of the other firemen decide that his defense is too physical, and that he has been ’grab-assing’ them while they play. Chuck is confronted by Fred Duncan (Ving Rhames), while playing basketball by himself. Chuck fears that this intimidating man plans to verbally or possibly physically abuse him, but Fred opens up that he is gay, and that Chuck and Larry have been a big inspiration to his coming out of the closet.

The fire chief calls them in again, and reveals that the other firemen have been passing around a petition with the intent of having the two of them transferred to another division. He puts the two on separate shifts to alleviate the complaints of the others. Larry goes into the fire station and confronts the others about it. He reprimands them for suddenly abandoning himself and Chuck after learning that they are ’gay’. He reveals that one of the firemen ’crapped his pants’ his first day on the job, and that Chuck has personally saved several of their lives. They are ashamed, but are saved from answering by a fire in the city.

Meanwhile, tabloids pick up on Chuck and Larry’s case and their court case becomes a media spectacle. Inside the courthouse, Chuck and Larry confront the other firefighters who apologize and vow to stand with Chuck and Larry. During the court case, Chuck and Larry are grilled with personal questions, and are required to give individual testimony. After testimony by Larry’s children, the case looks to be firmly on Chuck and Larry’s side. In a last attempt, Clint asks the couple to kiss. They attempt to kiss but are interrupted by Captain Tucker who admits that they are lying and he has part in it but tells the judges that their lie has helped everyone around them and hurt no one. Clint convinces the judge that it doesn’t matter since they still broke the law. In a Spartacus-inspired sequence, the firefighters all lie and claim that they helped Chuck and Larry break the law and should also be jailed, hoping that the show of solidarity will discourage any attempts at punishment.

Unfortunately, they are all thrown in jail. Councilman Banks (Richard Chamberlain) shows up and tells Chuck and Larry he’ll drop all charges under two conditions: the firefighters have to admit that what they did was illegal, and the council will dismiss it as a misdemeanor, and they all have to help raise funds for AIDS research, because they are sort of heroes in the gay community.

The fundraising scheme turns out to be a gay calendar, featuring the firefighters, and the Canadian wedding chaplain, in erotic poses.